Tough Decisions: When to Walk Away From an Aging Parent

It’s never easy making tough decisions, especially when it comes to walking away from elderly parents. For many of us, the thought of leaving a beloved parent in old age can be unbearable. Even so, there are times when we must consider if it is best to stay by our parent’s side or take the difficult journey away from them. In this blog post, we will explore when it might be appropriate to walk away from an aging parent and why it is sometimes necessary for their health and safety.

Would It Be Considered Inappropriate to Walk Away From a Senior Parent?

It can be hard to think about having to choose to walk away from an elderly parent. After all, our parents have been there for us since we were little. They helped shape us and provided unconditional love throughout our lives. 

Despite this, it is important to remember that each person has their own needs and desires in old age – and that sometimes, the best thing we can do is to step back and allow them to make their own decisions.

Reasons to Move from Your Aging Parent

There are numerous reasons someone might choose to move away from their aging parent. In some cases, it may be necessary for the sake of safety and health.

Physical and Verbal Abuse Towards You

If your aging parent has been verbally or physically abusive towards you, it might be time to consider walking away. It can be difficult to take a stand against someone who raised us, but our safety is always paramount.

Addiction That Makes Your Parent Self-Destructive 

If your parent is struggling with addiction and endangers your health and well-being, you may have to consider walking away. Having an addict for a parent can be emotionally draining – but sometimes, the best thing we can do is to let them find their way.

They Suffer From Severe Mental Illness You Can’t Handle Yourself

Mental illness can be tricky to navigate, especially if your parent has been living with it for many years. If their mental illness becomes too much for you to handle alone and puts your safety or well-being at risk, it might be necessary to take a step back and consider other options.

Your Parents Have Made the Decision to Relocate to a Different Place

If your parents have chosen to move, it might be best to respect their wishes and consider relocating with them. However, if you feel like the move is not in your best interest or would create too much strain on your own life, you might have to decide to walk away.

Your Aging Parent Exploits You Financially

The exploitation of any form is never okay. If your parent is exploiting you financially, it might be necessary to consider walking away. It is important to remember that boundaries need to exist for both parties to have a healthy relationship.

Difficult Relationships with Your Aging Parent

It can be difficult to think about having to walk away from an elderly parent, even if you have a strained relationship. This is a personal decision only you can make, and it is important to do what will be best for your mental health and well-being.

They Don’t Need Your Help

Oftentimes, people feel an obligation to stay by their parent’s side when they are elderly. However, it is important to remember that if your parent does not need your help or has already been taken care of by other family members, you may have the option to walk away.

How to Deal with the Guilt from Walking Away

It can be hard to deal with the guilt of having to walk away from an elderly parent, but it is important to remember that your safety and well-being should always come first.

Accept Your Feelings and Situation 

It is important to accept your feelings and recognize that you have the right to choose what’s best for you. It can be hard to say goodbye, but remember that it might be the healthiest decision in the long run.

Ask for Support from Someone You Trust

It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust to understand your feelings better and make the decision that is best for you. Talking it out with a professional or friend might help provide clarity and understanding during this difficult time.

Keep Communicating with Your Elderly Parent 

No matter what you decide, it is important to maintain communication with your aging parent. Even if you choose to move away, keeping in touch can make the transition easier and help bridge the gap between the two of you.

Leave Behind Old Conflicts

It is important to leave behind old conflicts and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. If you have chosen to move away from your aging parent, understanding and forgiveness can help make the transition smoother for both parties.

How to Help Your Parents from a Distance

If you have chosen to move away from your elderly parent, there are still ways to provide them with support and care.

Install Accessibility Modifications if Needed

If your parents have mobility issues, installing accessibility modifications can be helpful. This could include stair lifts, grab bars, and adjustable beds.

Utilize Online Resources for Caregiving

You can use many online resources to help with caregiving from a distance. For instance, if your parent is having difficulty keeping up with medications or appointments, you could use caregiver scheduling software or telehealth technology.

Help with Managing Your Parent’s Finances 

Managing finances can be tough for elderly people, so you could offer to help your parent from a distance by setting up automatic bill payments and organizing their accounts.

Consider Hiring a Caregiver

If you cannot provide care for your parent on your own, consider hiring a caregiver or home health aide. This can give you peace of mind that your parent is being well taken care of in your absence.

Legal Side of Walking Away from Your Aging Parent

Depending on where you live, laws may outline how to care for an elderly parent who cannot care for themselves. For example, many states have Adult Protective Services laws designed to protect vulnerable adults or those who cannot care for themselves due to physical or mental impairment. This can include provisions for temporary guardianship or conservatorship.

It is important to look into the legal ramifications of walking away from an aging parent, as this can affect your rights and obligations regarding their care.

Conclusion

Walking away from an elderly parent can be a difficult and emotional process. It is important to remember that you have the right to choose what’s best for yourself, even if it means having to say goodbye.

You can still provide support and care for your aging parent from a distance by utilizing online resources, hiring caregivers, installing accessibility modifications, and helping with their finances if needed. However, it is also important to understand the legal implications of walking away from an elderly parent, so research beforehand.

No matter what you decide, remember that communication and understanding can help bridge the gap between both parties. You know best what the right decision is for you and your parent, so take the time to explore all of your options.